Grrr.

If I hear this song one more time, I'm going to go postal. LOL.. My DH is playing the song from the last episode of Six Feet Under (where Claire is driving away) over and over and over and over. He doesn't even realize it, I'm sure but I'm REALLY sick of hearing it. That last episode made me cry all night. The fact that our lives are so short and that we all die - just really made me sad. I've felt that way since Emma-Grace was born - the thought of dying & leaving my children or Daniel - or him dying & leaving us - has just haunted me. I try to think of the ways to make life happy and bring joy to others - but then the thought that it all ends and life goes on without us... it just makes me dreadfully sad.

It's almost as hard to grasp as the "infinite space" theory - where does outerspace end? I think of that and my brain just aches! LOL.. (It doesn't take much)....

But this song is making me so sad. I'm STILL waiting on the Clerk of Court in FL to send a letter stating that they have no records for Daniel's "outcome" of his ticket. I overnighted the $$ and the request.. she got it on Monday! Why is it taking so long? I could have written it and just got her to sign it! I just wanted it faxed and I also sent an overnight FedEx package to send it to my HS agency so she can send it to USCIS. I'm SO tired of waiting on people who don't give a (*#$&(#*& about what I need. I just feel so defeated today - like this will never end. We'll never be DTC. We'll never get TA. We'll never travel. It could be SPRING before we travel and then I think I'd just lay in the floor and cry for days if that happened. I feel like everyone else in the world is DTC but us. :( And I busted my behind and had my homestudy done in MAY... and here it is almost September and we're no closer! This just SUCKS.

I think I'm going to say a prayer and go to bed.