WOOHOOO

Our I-171H arrived in Saturday's mail. I am guarding it with my life. I have to take a copy of it to be notarized tomorrow in Raleigh and then send it to the courier.. I had asked if SN Dossiers go out when they're completed or if they have to wait for a stack of NSN Dossiers to go -- and I think mine will go as soon as it's ready. ::crossing toes, fingers & EYES!::

Wow. now I'm dizzy... no more crossing of the eyes... ;)

So... we could possibly be done by the end of the week? I'm assuming the courier could get our stuff turned around that fast? I have no clue. We'll see.

The other day I was carrying Emma-Grace & I slipped on a slingshot that was in Josh's floor. I went up in the air and down on my hip & shoulder. MAN, do I feel old. I feel like I was in a car wreck or something. Emma-Grace was fine - I think she bumped her head a little but not bad. I was more MAD at myself than hurt... until the next day when I started feeling it! Yeowch.

I have become addicted to digital scrapbooking. STOP ME NOW. :) LOL.. I have probably done 20 pages in a week. This is like a record for me. I haven't touched a paper page in FOREVER. This is what I've wanted to do for so long - I just didn't have the right tools! Now I'm using Photoshop Elements 3.0 and getting kits from all over the web... Here's a link: http://homepage.mac.com/shellic/2005 and look for the Digital Pages links at the bottom.. Then you can see all my babies too... big, medium & small ;)

Night! I need SLEEP.

What a difference a DAY makes!

Our WONDERFUL Homestudy Agency, Nathanson Adoption Services, called me yesterday to let me know they got the fax I was waiting on and Helene sent it to the USCIS person via fax who then emailed Helene with the info that our I-171H (Approval from Homeland Security to adopt) was going out in FRIDAY'S MAIL!!!!! WOOHOO! We'll either get it Saturday or Monday! I can't wait. This means ... that we NOW REALLY GET TO WAIT. LOL..

People seem to look at me funny when I say "We got our final piece of paper we were waiting for.. and now we get to wait more!" And I'm actually HAPPY about it. :) The average wait for Travel Approval (or TA) is 70 days from the date your Dossier is logged in to China's system (known as your LID - Log In Date) Once you are logged in, you wait for China to invite you to their country to adopt. When they send you this invitation (TA), your agency then can make arrangements for an appointment with the Consulate to complete your adoption. Most people travel within a month of receiving TA. I would REALLLLY like to get TA by Daniel's birthday - November 5th. I know that's asking a lot... ;) But then we could travel early in December and be home before Christmas. ::crossing fingers and toes::

So... as soon as I get this I-171H in the mail, I make a photocopy of it, have it notarized as a true copy, take it to Raleigh to the Sec. of State's Office and have it authenticated and then I send that to the courier in DC who will expedite it through the state department and embassy! Sounds all important like an episode of 24 or something, huh? (mindlessly drifting into a daydream about Kiefer Sutherland...) Oh.. sorry.... LOL

Okay.. so that's where we stand until next week when we get to run all over like crazy people... (wait, we ARE crazy people...)

For those of you in NC, I highly recommend Nathanson Adoption Services. Helene has been nothing but wonderful when it comes to our homestudy and helping us get this process completed. She has what it takes to get it done! (Plus she'll even eat chocolate on your behalf) http://www.nathansonadoption.com

Grrr.

If I hear this song one more time, I'm going to go postal. LOL.. My DH is playing the song from the last episode of Six Feet Under (where Claire is driving away) over and over and over and over. He doesn't even realize it, I'm sure but I'm REALLY sick of hearing it. That last episode made me cry all night. The fact that our lives are so short and that we all die - just really made me sad. I've felt that way since Emma-Grace was born - the thought of dying & leaving my children or Daniel - or him dying & leaving us - has just haunted me. I try to think of the ways to make life happy and bring joy to others - but then the thought that it all ends and life goes on without us... it just makes me dreadfully sad.

It's almost as hard to grasp as the "infinite space" theory - where does outerspace end? I think of that and my brain just aches! LOL.. (It doesn't take much)....

But this song is making me so sad. I'm STILL waiting on the Clerk of Court in FL to send a letter stating that they have no records for Daniel's "outcome" of his ticket. I overnighted the $$ and the request.. she got it on Monday! Why is it taking so long? I could have written it and just got her to sign it! I just wanted it faxed and I also sent an overnight FedEx package to send it to my HS agency so she can send it to USCIS. I'm SO tired of waiting on people who don't give a (*#$&(#*& about what I need. I just feel so defeated today - like this will never end. We'll never be DTC. We'll never get TA. We'll never travel. It could be SPRING before we travel and then I think I'd just lay in the floor and cry for days if that happened. I feel like everyone else in the world is DTC but us. :( And I busted my behind and had my homestudy done in MAY... and here it is almost September and we're no closer! This just SUCKS.

I think I'm going to say a prayer and go to bed.

Kisses in the Wind

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
--- Unknown


Oh man, did this poem just break my heart. It so describes how I feel about this adoption process. I worry that she is waiting for us, wondering where we are. We sent our photos back in June.. and here it is.. September is just around the corner and we're barely any closer to going to China. I hope and pray that the USCIS Charlotte office will get our letter from Florida tomorrow and that our I-171H will go out by Friday. Please, Lord, I'm begging. (But like my new favorite song "Help Somebody" says "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." I am not in charge, I guess. For some reason, we aren't meant to go soon... But I have to say that if the wait to be DTC is this hard, then the wait for TA may kill me. ::sigh:: I'm so sad. I don't understand why much of this is necessary - but you give me a hoop and I'm going to jump through it... twice if I have to. I don't like to dawdle or delay when it comes to getting things done - but it seems that everyone else in the world is functioning their own speed... and the faster I go, the slower the world goes at giving me what I need to keep going! AGGGH.

Ning Ning... we are trying so hard to get there. We talk about you 100 times a day. Emma-Grace picks up the phone and says "Hello Ning Ning" and when she sees your picture, she says Ning Ning! It is as if she is waiting, wondering where her new best friend is... and I can't wait to get you two together. I don't expect some blissful meeting - I expect 2 toddlers who will have their moments of toddler-tude... but I know that she will adore you and that you will be loved more than any child could want to be loved. MacKenzie is already such a big help with Emma-Grace. She puts her shoes on and TRIES to dress her (Hard to dress a raging bull... ::grin::)

But this tough spot will be past us soon and when it's all in the past, we will rarely think of it... it's like the last 2 months of being pregnant. It's awful - but God let's you forget so you can do it again.... and NEXT TIME we're adopting a boy - probably a boy with limb differences or hand differences. I know a great OT!! ::grin::

No I-171H anytime soon! :(

::sigh:: Apparently USCIS needs documentation that Daniel completed his requirements for his reckless driving conviction from FL in 1990. Do you know how hard it is to find this type of info that is 15 years old? No one knows. No one has records. No one calls me back.. ::grumble::

I'm working as fast as I can, Ning Ning! We can't wait to come to get you.. but it looks like someone has other plans. I'm hoping this is all resolved tomorrow and that our approval can be sent soon.

I'm trying really hard not to be mad at Daniel for this omission... but I'm REALLY MAD. I can't help it.

Preparation...

I guess I'm still in a state of ... well, not denial.. but not fully believing we will be going to China for Annabelle! I haven't gone crazy shopping for her because I don't know for sure what time of year we'll be going and I would hate to buy things that don't fit her when we get her home...

But I have put her bed in the room with Emma-Grace's bed. I have them matching comforters and matching blankets, etc. I tend to buy things for MacKenzie (7) and Emma-Grace (19 mo) that match and I've been buying an extra size 3ish outfit when that happens - so Annabelle will have one too.

My friend Diane posted photos of her beautiful baby's beautiful room so I thought I'd share some photos of Emma-Grace and Annabelle's room as it is now... We'll be moving to our new house next summer and I plan to do their room in an Mary Engelbreit theme - if someone will teach me how to sew that is! LOL... I want black twin beds with red, yellow, white and black fabric - florals and checks, etc (see http://www.maryengelbreit.com and check out the beautiful fabrics!)

Here are some photos of the girls' room as it is now...

FedEx loses 1 and misplaces another! ::grumble::

It never fails. When you MUST HAVE something overnight, the person sending it never gets it to you overnight!

I got the info I needed from FL and sent them the funds to pay for the records Daniel needed to update our HS. I sent them a FedEx slip with our account # on it - all they had to do was send it back out to me. Did they do it overnight? NO. They got it on Friday and sent it back to me on Wednesday! Aggh! I was dying! Thank goodness I sent them the overnight thing or they'd probably have sent it by Carrier Pigeon.

Then the counselor here in town was supposed to do a report and send it the same way - via our FedEx account to our HS agency 1.5 hours away. Days went by and I called and was told it was just sent. MORE days went by and the HS agency never saw it. I had to drive to their town anyway, to pick up my friend so I drove the papers from FL there rather than risk them getting lost. When I arrived at the HS agency, she had a FedEx pacakge from me - I figured it was the report from the counselor. NOPE. It was the check and letter I had sent her a WEEK prior! It had been delivered to someone in her building who decided to HOLD it for a WEEK!

The other package from the counselor STILL hasn't arrived almost 2 weeks later but after a 1AM sobbing phone call to her office (which actually went to her cellphone at home! oops!) she faxed the form to the HS agency for me. Sheesh. I NEED CHOCOLATE! LOL..

So now our wonderful HS agency (love 'em) has our check, our letter, the FL paperwork and the counselor's report. She will REwrite the HS and send it to USCIS who is holding our I-171H form (approval from Homeland Security for us to adopt) and HOPEFULLY we'll have that in a week or two. I reaaaaaaalllllly NEED to be DTC. I need some finality to this process. It seems never-ended though I know all too soon it will be a faded, distant memory, like labor pains!!

Annabelle, we can't wait to bring you home.